A healthy sex life is important for an overall healthy committed relationship or marriage. Unfortunately, after being together for years, many people in these long-term partnerships can find that the “spark” they once had has diminished or gone out entirely.
It can put a significant strain on your relationship if your sex life begins to crumble. You may begin to wonder whether your partner finds you attractive anymore, which can plummet your self-esteem and begin to place a divide between the two of you.
Keep reading to learn how to spice up your sex life and why a healthy sex life is essential for every couple.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #1: Establish Intimacy
One of the most important aspects of having a healthy sex life is first being emotionally connected to your partner.
Clearly, if you are in a relationship, you have come to enjoy each other’s company and rely on each other for support. Extend this emotional connection to the bedroom by letting each other know you are vulnerable and attentive to each other’s needs.
Has your partner been having a stressful time at work lately? Ask them what you can do to help, or offer to take some responsibilities off their plate. Letting them know that you are there for them will help strengthen this emotional bond that is so pivotal to getting things started in the bedroom.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #2: Communicate Your Needs
In line with being attentive to your partner’s needs, ensure that they are clued in to what you need as well. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel like things have become stagnant, or if you feel as though the spark has fizzled out.
Do you have an idea of how to spice things up? Are there specific things you would want to try? Engage in an open conversation with your partner to air out your feelings and make a game plan for spicing things up.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #3: Try Different Positions
When it comes to specific tips, a clear suggestion is to try a different position.
Perhaps you and your partner always stick to the same position. Or, no matter what you try, you always come back to your tried and true favorites. Even if it is pleasurable, doing the same thing over and over can become boring, which is the enemy of having a steamy sex life.
Switching positions will give you an opportunity to take the lead in the bedroom by initiating something new that you think you both would enjoy.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #4: Try New Locations
Along with trying a new position, you can also mix things up and add a lot of head to sexual encounters with your partner by switching up where you “do it.”
You likely have sex in the bedroom most of the time. But have you tried it on the kitchen counter? In the car? On the dining room table?
Changing up the location is one surefire way to keep things interesting between you and your partner.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #5: Explore Fantasies
When talking about each other’s needs with Tip #2, you may have discovered that your partner wants to try out a fantasy of theirs. You may also have your own fantasies that you’ve been wanting to explore.
Making a commitment to playing out each other’s wildest dreams can strengthen your connection while also guaranteeing some extremely pleasurable sex.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #6: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
To go along with Tip #5, try getting out of your comfort zone in the bedroom.
No sex dream or fantasy is too wild. Nevertheless, if you find yourself becoming apprehensive at the thought of trying something new, be sure to continue talking through it with your partner until you are both ready to begin experimenting.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #7: Try Sex Toys
Most people tend to think that sex toys are reserved for singles only. However, adding a sex toy into the mix when you’re playing with your partner is a surefire way to spice things up.
Finding the right sex toy can require a bit of trial and error. It can also be daunting if you have never owned or used one before. However, there are several beginner-friendly toys that you can consider when deciding what to bring to the party.
Perhaps you’re already comfortable with using toys during sex. Are you interested in knowing how to really turn up the intensity? Find out here.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #8: Try Sex Games
Playing a sex game with your partner is a lighthearted and fun way to heat things up.
You can choose to add a sexy twist to a classic game, such as playing strip poker. Alternatively, you can purchase a sexy game that has the flirtatious flare already built-in. Playing any of these sexy card games is sure to get that spark going between you and your partner.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #9: Try Sexting
We’re all glued to our phones for a large portion of the day. Why not use that to your advantage?
Send your partner texts throughout the workday alluding to the “activities” you’ll be getting up to later. You can up the ante by sending nude photos or videos of yourself as well. Creating this sexual tension will lead to a hotter and more heavy time in the bedroom.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #10: Shower Together
Showering together is a great way to spend quality time with your partner while simultaneously building sexual tension. Seeing each other naked and taking the time to lather each other up is sure to drive you both crazy.
If you haven’t tried this before, it is highly recommended. Get clean so you can get dirty!
Healthy Sex Life Tip #11: Build Anticipation
In tandem with sexting throughout the day to create that tension, there are several other ways to build anticipation.
One key method of doing this is to schedule a sexual event. Book a hotel room or an Airbnb, or even plan a staycation once per month to put all of your desires on the table with your partner. It’s also ideal because you both have agreed to set aside that time to focus only on fulfilling each other’s fantasies.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #12: Dress Up
To go along with exploring you and your partners’ fantasies, you can ignite that spark by dressing up.
Whether it be sexy lingerie of an outfit related to a role playing fantasy, getting into the right garb will help you and your partner get into the zone.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #13: Watch Porn Together
Pornography is a surefire way to get anyone in the mood. Why not use it to get both you and your partner turned on?
Watching porn together is not only a way to get you both hot and ready ,but is also great for exploring what you both enjoy.
Do you have any unexplored fantasies? Watching porn related to it can help you and your partner learn how to please each other by watching how to act out your deepest, darkest desires.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #14: Talk Dirty
Hearing your partners’ moans of pleasure can absolutely drive you crazy, and vice versa. However, you can take things to the next level by having some pillow talk.
Talk your partner through what you’re doing to them. Tell them how good they are making you feel. Ask them if this feels good if that feels nice, and so on. Talking to each other will get you both hyper-focused on pleasure.
Healthy Sex Life Tip #15: Consider an Open Relationship
Perhaps you’ve tried it all. You and your partner have come to the agreement that a sexual restart is in order. One way to accomplish this is through having an open sexual relationship.
Of course, this requires honesty, trust, and communication to pursue in a safe and healthy way. However, the excitement of trying something new with someone new can bolster your own confidence. Alternatively, it can actually cause you to miss your partner and appreciate the relationship you have, sexual shortcomings and all.
Worse comes to worst, you can choose to resume a monogamous relationship after having a few flings. At least you might have learned a new thing or two from someone else that you can try with your partner.
How to Spice Up our Sex Life
Now that you’ve learned about 15 key tips for how to spice up your sex life and how to have a better sex life, you should be ready to start making some new changes with your partner. Remember, it takes two to tango. Teamwork will always be key to having a healthy sex life.
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